This is a topic that I have intimate experience with... That feeling when you know that you must leave the person that you're with (or maybe the situation you're in, it could even be a job for example), but maybe you don't really "want to".
Why won't they just listen? I just don't understand...
When people are not respecting or honouring your wishes, and they are constantly pushing, possibly even toppling over your boundaries - you need to walk away, even if it is only temporarily.
The reason why is simple: actions always speak louder than words, and the further you let things go, is the harder it is to fix, not only now, but also in the future. (Thank God for Hypnotherapy, just saying...)
How do you know when enough is enough?
Firstly, it is going to be different for everyone. What your values and boundaries are, however, is exactly what you are going to get. And what are your boundaries? What you'll deal with, of course.
The one thing that I believe applies in EVERY situation, no matter how unique, is when the other person in question will not get help for whatever the issue is - together is always better. If they aren't interested in acting as a union or unit, then what is the point?
I am not telling you to be mean or hurtful about this, I am telling you to stand in what you deserve and create space from any treatment that you do not want to follow you into the future, even if it is just until the dust settles.
This is something that it has personally taken me a very long time to figure out. As a child, I was raised to believe that "the woman always listens no matter what, even against her own screaming intuition." As you can imagine, this led to ultimate wreckage in my relationships. I couldn't understand why I gave so much and got such little respect in return... of course, it was deeper than just that...
It wasn't until I really fell in love with myself and my intuition, even when I wasn't quite sure if I was making the right decision, that this started to change and ripple into my relationships. When I listen to my intuition and stand in my value, my life is like a Unicorn Dreamboat. When I don't, everything seems to be a little bit overcast - a haze that I can't quite see through.
No one is perfect, and there is also something to be said for sticking things out, but not when you're constantly the only one doing the heavy lifting.
Also, NEVER threaten to leave someone, and then don't. That can absolutely wreak havoc on the relationship, creating doubt and instability. Instead, ask for space only if and when you are actually taking it, and only tell someone that you are leaving them when you are actually planning to do that.
Now, excuse me while I pull out the Dreambout. Champagne included.
Sending you love always,
Pamela
