The Taurus Man
(April 19 – May 20)
“Honey, who ate my cupcake?” Whether you’re in love with a Taurus man or simply dating/have a crush on one, you either ARE the cupcake or you’re forever getting cupcaked – an open box with nothing but stale crumbs… not even a stray sprinkle made it out alive. On the other hand, if you’re one of the lucky ones who just so happens to be candy-coated all by yourself, well, my lady, buckle up and get ready for the ride to the Willy Wonka factory. You will be wined, and dined and romanced so much, you may not even notice that the door in which you entered may or may not exist anymore. Next time, you’ll know to take the stairs instead of that cotton-candy smelling elevator, won’t you, my love? Life isn’t really life if you don’t hold onto a couple of “IOU a slice of cake” coupons in your pocket for that poor Taurus who you managed to escape. I joke, I kid, of course. I know you still love me, especially since I keep prompting the world to feed you with the most lovely things. One day you will forgive me, until then, there are 5 star restaurants which will quell your hunger, and a few rich coffee shops in your city that will surely quench your thirst.
Love you, always and forever, but mostly for your food,