I love you more than I love myself. You could not call me back for a month and I would still be here waiting, to prove how much I love you.
Not exactly sexy, now is it? Until someone has acted this way towards you, it might not be easy to grasp just how sexy strong boundaries are.
Why is this?
Because, quite simply, the more that you value and love yourself, the more you “have to” have strong boundaries.
I had recently heard Matthew Hussey say in one of his radio show talks that “women who get what they want don’t meet different guys, they simply end things with the guys that aren’t the right fit, sooner”. And why, do they do this?
They have strong Boundaries.
So, when they meet these men that are less than prime dating material, their boundaries start sending off alarm bells, which they promptly listen to.
Although, this does apply to both men and women alike, of course.
There is nothing more utterly unattractive to someone than knowing that they could do anything at all to you, and you would never leave them. And, there is nothing more attractive than knowing that “you make them better” and that you are valuable.
I speak to men and women about this every single day, and I have to say, they don’t always proclaim “I didn’t value him/her at all”, in fact they will usually say something like “I don’t know what it is but I’m into someone else more.” When further questioned, however, it almost always (with the exception of widely different beliefs or values) comes down to the value piece.
This is also one of those little insights which never ceases to amaze me. Every single time that I am going down the rabbit hole of “why do you prefer this person over that one”, a major factor is always their boundaries and value. Every single time I hear myself say “maybe this time it is something different” and, really, unless they found out that the person has a fetish which they don’t agree with or something – it isn’t.
Shocking! Isn’t it?
So now, here we are, sitting in front of the mirror. It is just you, yourself and you, and you’re asking yourself, what are YOUR values? No, no, not the ones that you tell everyone else that you have, the ones that you really have. What does someone have to do to you in order for you to be okay with walking away?
Is it time for you to change those values?
This is one of the things that I help people do, quite well. So well, in fact, that they magically meet someone who actually does treat them well because of it. Someone who before, wasn’t within their reach (or so they believed).
I live for this, and so do you.
Sending you love,
Pamela
