We have all been there – in varying degrees. Whether we are talking about a relationship that is really bad, or a relationship that is just not exactly what you want, the same rules apply, and the steps towards what you want are the same… they might simply feel lighter, in less intense scenarios.
5 Reasons Why You Haven’t Left That Bad Relationship:
- Your parents relationship, or another significant person of influence’s relationship, could have been an example of “what not to do”, and so you are unconsciously reliving that pattern now.
- The majority of your friends also don’t have great relationships, or at least not the “type of relationship” that you truly want, deep down inside, therefore it is making it “seem okay” or not that bad.
- You don’t understand what abuse really is (or an unhealthy situation), and what those grey areas really mean. (Trust me, this is more important than you think)… I’ll explain below, I promise.
- You are not in deep connection with your body and intuition – therefore someone else is holding your body and intuition and it’s/your feelings. When you are holding any intimate space for someone, they are releasing dopamine and “feel good chemicals” in your mind and body, and as long are you are not holding this space for yourself, you are not the one making the decisions here. How can you make a decision if you are not even in charge of your own feelings?
- FEAR – You are afraid and you don’t believe that you can have better, or that there is better.
Here is what to do about it now:
- Because of these significant relationship(s) that you witnessed at a young age, more likely than not your “self talk” and the way that you think/feel/speak about your partner is in alignment with this behavioural pattern that you experienced. The first step to changing this, is noticing what you are saying to yourself about who you are and what you deserve, and change it.
- Understand that you are exactly like the 5 people that you hang out with the most, if they don’t have great relationships, then chances are, neither will you. It is time to start finding new friends. NOTE: If you haven’t changed your own self-talk, then you must do that first, otherwise, it won’t be easy to attract these new people. People like people like them, and therefore in order to attract better friends, you must start with you first.
- As humans, we cannot change what we don’t understand, and one of the BIGGEST problems that I have seen when working with clients who are in this situation is that they actually didn’t even know that they were in an abusive relationship because they didn’t actually know what abuse is!!! Abuse is not a THING… Abuse is a cycle, a wheel that keeps spinning, and it ALWAYS has some sort of dynamic of “the hand that hurts you is the same hand that comes riding in on a white horse to save you”. It is a CYCLE of pleasure and pain, and therefore it is not easy to get out of, because it triggers the part of our brain and body which holds addiction. Addiction can be a gift, when we are the creators of it.
- Whether you are feeling something right now or not, it means that you are in charge of your own feelings, if you are reading this article right now, it means that your intuition is speaking to you – it is time to listen to it.
- Fear and Faith LITERALLY cannot exist in the same space – they actually exist in two separate parts of the brain and they cannot be accessed at the same time. If you don’t believe that you deserve better, that you have a purpose, that you are special, that you are reading this for a reason, then you won’t be able to leave this person right now. The moment that you listen to what your intuition has been telling you, you will know that you are strong and that through this situation, you will able to live even more in your purpose and help others, with this gift. You need to believe in yourself. Every day that you are not loving yourself, is a day that you are not with the person that you are meant to be with. If that person exists and is waiting for you, how will you find them if you don’t love yourself first and if you aren’t open to being found and noticed? There is a MAGIC that exists in believing in yourself and knowing that who and what you deserve is waiting for you to wake up and stand in your self love.
Every single day that you have is an opportunity to live your life for yourself, and to set a better example for men and women just like you. You have the choice to stand in this experience and help others, and firstly, help yourself. You are reading this for a reason – you are ready to have better in your life now, you are ready to show others, to prove to yourself that you CAN have better. You are ready to break the karmic cycles which brought you here. I have seen and personally helped many men and women attract and have better, healthier relationships and it all began with them believing that they can attain this… this deep inner knowing, even if the voice at first isn’t THAT loud, it will get louder, and eventually you will have the relationship that you desire in your life, and much, much, more.
I have been there in my life, and at the time it “came out of nowhere.” I felt like this experience snuck up behind me, even though it didn’t. Looking back now, there were so many warning signs that I just didn’t notice, because in my world, they weren’t warning signs at all. Once I was able to understand what healthy relationships actually look like and feel like, my life changed forever, and so can yours.
I love you, and I want the best for you,
Here is the website and contact info for The National Domestic Violence Hotline – Please call or chat with them if you need to speak with someone right away. http://www.thehotline.org/ 1-800-799-7233